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My art flows

It has been one year since I was diagnosed with PTSD and during this time the constant has been the flow of my art. With the careful treatment of the ever unraveling rollercoaster of traumatic events that have happened in my past, I am able to thankfully express myself and my feelings through my collages.

art flows wounded collage by Dena Leibowitz

I call this wounded. It depicts the depths of my childhood trauma. My head literally popping off from the realization of what had happened to me – neglect, abandonment, rejection. I feel as though I was both physically and mentally shot. This collage was a difficult one to make and quite powerful that I find at times uneasy for me to look at. Acceptance will bring me closer to it.

art flows nurture collage by Dena Leibowitz

This collage I call nurture. This is where my hope lies. My story began at birth. I was adopted. At that moment my inner child felt her first taste of abandonment and detachment. With the power of my recovery, I now am capable of my responsibility of giving my inner child the nurturing she needs helping her to heal the wounds that run so deep. Creating new dialogue, easing her pain and sadness, passing no judgment upon her and giving her only unconditional love. With her growth I will become a stronger more resilient woman.

My art flows. My feelings flow. And my days and nights ebb and flow. Living with PTSD has been no picnic. But I show up each day, I do my work and I share my art with gratitude that I am able to do so and thankful to those who find support and inspiration in my creations.

Gratitude is my new attitude

There is so much to express gratitude for in my life now that I see more clearly with gentler glasses in recovery. Here is my short list. 

I am grateful for….
 the invaluable support I receive daily on my recovery journey
who I am and who I continue to become
my sobriety – it has allowed me to fully embrace my life 
woodpeckers – their persistent pecking reminds me that each day I can work on something inside of myself
my ability to set healthy boundaries for myself and with others
my courage in allowing my vulnerability to shine through when sharing ‘my story’
my past art therapy – it helped me to evolve my business creating a purpose in my life and a meaningful direction to give back to society
the freedom of choice 

What are you grateful for in your life?